


Something's Fishy

by LourenskiA



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Angst and Humor, April Fools' Day, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Discord: RadioDust, Feelings, Gray-Asexuality, Horny Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Humorous Ending, Husk is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prompt Fic, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LourenskiA/pseuds/LourenskiA
Summary: Husk would only say it out loud if he was sober enough to be out of his mind. He adored Alastor. Maybe a wink and just a single drop of liquor would be enough for Husk to die for him. Angel was a bit different. His attraction for their favorite murderous strawberry was nothing but lustful, or at least at first it was. It was slowly changing. Husk could see the adoration steadily replacing the hunger in the spider's eyes whenever Alastor was in their presence. Alastor had that effect on those who were brave enough to dare love him. Until he makes them go about their merry life with fucking cardboard fish glued to their backs and Husk is  left wondering why the fuck he even considered thinking all of the bullshit above.
Relationships: Alastor & Charlie Magne, Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	Something's Fishy

**Author's Note:**

> What is this? Oh, I see. Another rabbit hole I fell down into. But how can I complain?  
> This is my entry for the April Fool's Event over at the RadioDust server. It was a bit tricky to figure out the french April Fool's tradition the prompt asked for. According to what I was told, the tradition consists of people sticking pictures of fish on each other's backs and yelling "Poisson d'Avril". I got this prompt from Borden so this is for them and I hope I did it justice!  
> Now, this kinda got out of control and it was supposed to be just a simple joke but in my defense, I really love these three idiots and had a blast writing this prompt. I just want to apologize for a certain joke I pulled off here. Ya'll can sue me for it. I deserve it, haha.

Some demons were early risers. Those, other than being up and fresher than a lettuce at the most ungodly hours of the morning, tended to also be fond of musical numbers. Other demons dreaded the very first ray of sunlight coming through the windows to literally burn their eyes like hell fire. Such was the punishment for Sloth.

Those lazier, sleepier folks branched into three categories. Type one was the girlfriend who loved her blonde lettuce too much, therefore she tolerated the singing, sometimes even bounced along with the tune, even though the deep, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes and her disheveled hair indicated to the levels of her misery. Type two was the serpent who had no other choice but check into the Happy Hotel because blond lettuce was too merciful for her own good and still disapproved of the methods used by a certain red lettuce.

Said red lettuce was relentless, however, so the serpent had a gourmet serving of psychological torture and musical humiliation every. Single. Morning. Type three were the ones who were either too drunk or too high off their asses to even notice all of these morning shenanigans. This type was best represented by the two individuals currently sprawled on the floor behind the Hazbin Hotel's bar counter in a mess of tangled legs and too many arms.

Husk came to his senses very slowly, registering a distant laugh here and a scream for mercy there, before falling back into the silent pit of unconsciousness. His eyelids fluttered only when his claws twitched around the neck of his empty bottle, the feeling of clutching it becoming more real as the world around him became increasingly noisy. His headache was also increasing, like a familiar knife with the words 'hangover of the year' carved into it being stabbed inch by inch between his eyeballs. A grunt, another flutter of eyelids, then one, two, five blinks before his vision could register the bottles and spilled substances of all colors and consistencies on the floor around him. Around them. He could feel the weight of another demon on top of him, making his body ache more than it already should just from sleeping on the floor alone.

After a few more minutes, when he was sure his being would not crumble from the strain put on his neck, he lifted his head and his vision was partially engulfed in white fluffy glory. It took him approximately 5 seconds to register the drool soaking his chest and close to 20 for him the process the faint, rhythmic up and down movement of a skinny rear clad in leather shorts against his knee. As quick as his lack of coordination allowed, he took the bottle in a firm grip and smacked it against Angel Dust's sleeping face.

Angel startled awake and jumped off the cat demon, his back hitting the liquor shelves and making the bottles clink against each other above them in his disoriented state.

─ Go hump your fucking grandma, you son of a bitch. ─ Husk spat at the spider, pinching the bridge of his nose with a grimace.

He really hoped that the fluids drying on his fur weren't anything more questionable than liquor and saliva.

Angel could only stare at him, paralyzed on all fours, eyes wide and blinking one at a time. He shook his head, willing his mind to wake up at once, but that only caused the blurry world around him to sway and an alarming gagging sound came out of his mouth. Husk pressed a foot against the other's side, trying to keep some distance between them and avoid whatever threatened to come out. A shadow loomed over them, belonging to someone leaning on the counter with the flashiest, mocking smile plastered on his face to greet them in his sing-song staticky tone.

─ Good morning, my dear, miserable fellows! How are doing in this lovely, sunny morning?

Ah, there he was. Deviously charming and fresher than a goddamn lettuce at this ungodly hour of the fucking morning. The Radio Demon, looking down at them, feigning friendliness and concern just so he could have a front seat witnessing their foolishness and misery. His smile didn't falter in the slightest as Husk's head fell back to the ground with a thump and Angel's arms gave out under him, making the spider collapse on his face, elbows bent and sticking out every other direction. An undignified groan was heard across the hotel's lobby from the two wasted demons behind the counter. Alastor didn't bat an eye, just cocked his head to the side, seemingly very pleased with himself and the world.

That was when Husk remembered why he got double-wasted the night before. He knew Angel had no idea, which made him sympathize with the other a bit more now that they were, unfortunately, awake and susceptible to the shit show that was to come. Poor, oblivious Angel just happened to be messing with Husk at the bar the night before, not even questioning why the cat was drinking thrice as much of what was his usual. He just went with the flow, lighting a few joints himself and blowing kisses at the other as they both drank themselves silly for apparently no reason.

There _was_ a reason, though. It's just that Husk didn't say anything and Angel didn't ask in the first place. Husk would have just shut him up with a bottle of vodka down his throat if he did, anyways. He was almost sure Angel wouldn't even choke from it, so he would be doing the guy a favor.

It was that dreadful day of the year again. Every single year since he met Alastor, Husk drank himself to double-death in the night of March 31st in hopes that he would be in an alcoholic coma deep enough that he could just spend the whole day blissfully unaware of Alastor's downright insufferable April Fool's Day bullshit. He still wasn't over that one time Alastor went around telling people he married three times even though everyone was well aware of his lack of interest in intimate relationships. Husk wasn't fazed my that joke, at first. Until he learned that the joke was that it _wasn't_ a joke and to this day he still regretted ever asking about the details. Husk also had a fair share of sins on his shoulders, and even if he had a soft spot for the Radio Demon etched deeply into his heart, he would admit that literal virgin killing was a bit too much for him.

That's why he felt the need to be utterly blasted today, more so than in previous years. He wasn't totally sure Alastor wouldn't drop that bomb again since it was his first April Fool's at Hazbin and he wouldn't miss a chance to terrorize everyone on this day. Husk could learn to look past it because of the softer side Alastor has shown to him in the past, maybe Angel would too since he has literally fucked people with even more disturbing tastes due to his choice of career, but Husk didn't think he could handle witnessing the look on Charlie and her moth girlfriend Vaggie's faces if they ever knew of such things.

He knew Alastor to an extent. Maybe he wouldn't. But maybe he would, if his planned pranks weren't entertaining enough. The asshole.

Husk rolled over and clawed at the edge of the counter, gaining some leverage to pick himself up from the ground, feeling every one of his joints pop from the effort. Alastor didn't make a move to give him some space as the cat leaned against the counter with a sigh, remaining perfectly still even as their noses nearly touched. Instead, he lifted one hand and lightly scratched at Husk's forehead with a sharp finger nail. The Radio Demon didn't even seem bothered by the stench of alcohol permeating from the bar. Husk didn't have it in him to bite his finger off. Alastor's eyes narrowed and his smile widened. The bomb was about to drop. They both knew.

─ I am most delighted to see you had a night of restful sleep and are ready to enjoy this wonderful day. ─ Alastor said, one of his slim eyebrows lifting.

The only reply he got was Husk's middle finger slowly rising to separate their booping noses.

The loud, offensive clattering noise of Angel's heels was heard as the spider tried to pull himself up, failing miserably the first handful of tries. Eventually he managed to perch himself on a bar stool, still feeling a tad dizzy as he leaned in close to the other two currently having a contest of deadly glare versus smug smile with a middle finger between their faces. Angel pouted, but only opened his mouth to speak when he was sure what little contents on his empty stomach wouldn't spill out.

─ Hey, don't leave me out. I'll get jealous.

Angel moved so close to Alastor that their shoulders touched. The slight twitching of Alastor's eye at the contact didn't go unnoticed by Husk, but the spider didn't press any further so the Radio Demon relaxed, looking his cat friend dead in the eye and _winking_ at him. Husk frowned in confusion and then surprise as he saw Alastor snaking his arm around Angel's waist, gently massaging his back with the tips of his fingers. Angel stiffened, looking down at the shorter demon, clearly caught off guard by the sudden contact. His white completion turned into a light pink shade as he shot Husk an incredulous look before looking back down at the unattainable object of his affections.

The surprises weren't over, however. Husk's eyes went wide as saucers as he watched Angel sputter and nearly fall off the stool when Alastor went as far as slipping his hand under Angel's striped coat, making the spider visibly shiver as he caressed his bare back. Angel didn't dare move a muscle, Husk suspected he wasn't even breathing. Alastor looked Angel in the eyes and broke the suddenly tense silence.

─ I have a question for you, my dear Angel Dust.

Angel swallowed, his voice only above a whisper.

─ ...What is it, Smiles?

Alastor gave Husk a brief side glance before facing Angel again, the most handsome, _seductive_ smirk grazing his lips.

─ Do you know what I would do with a wife if I had one?

**Oh no.**

Angel frowned and paused for a moment.

─ Wha- If you had a wife? What do you mean, you don't even-

─ Exactly what I said. Now answer me. What would I do to my wife?

Alastor squeezed Angel's waist a bit tighter. Husk felt his soul physically disintegrate.

─ Fuck if I know! Drink tea or some boring, fancy shit you're into?

Alastor chuckled softly.

─ No, my effeminate fellow. I...

Husk's soul ceased to exist in this realm.

─ ...would **_eat_** her out.

_Silence_. _Static_.

For a good few moments, no fly dared to sneeze. Angel's expression didn't change, he simply blinked until the words were registered and processed in his mind. Then he scrunched his brow and shook his head, even though he heard it loud and clear and was well acquainted with the meaning of such words. He snorted, unable to hold the nearly hysterical fit of giggles that wracked through him at Alastor's rare sexual remark. Even if this flirty, seductive act was more than a little out of place, he couldn't help but shed a single tear of laughter and relish in the way Alastor's voice sounded when he said such dirty things. Once his body stopped shaking from his little fit, he calmed down and took a deep breath. Since the Radio Demon was feeling quite bold today, Angel also took the risk and threw an arm around the demon still holding his waist under his coat. The spider was relieved to see Alastor didn't flinch with his touch this time, in fact looking rather pleased.

─ Ha! That's a really good joke right there, Al. Real fuckin' funny. You won't even let me lay a fingertip on your dick through yer clothes! Do ya really expect me to believe you would eat your wife's... ─ Wait.

Angel's smiled faded. There was this gut wrenching feeling deep in his stomach, as if he were aware he forgot about something important but couldn't recall what. He looked at Husk. The cat was hunched over the counter with his hands covering his face, returning Angels gaze trough parted fingers with a look that suggested he was having war flashbacks. Angel looked back at Alastor. No one moved an inch, except for Alastor's smile that kept widening to the point of almost splitting his face in half as he watched the pieces, the clever double meaning of his words, slowly fit together in Angel's little hung-over brain.

The spider pointed a finger at him, opening his mouth to perhaps express his confusion when it finally dawned on him. His expression fell harder than Charlie's father did from the heavens.

─Nooooo. You fucking didn't. ─ Some part of Angel deep inside of him wished that this twisted interpretation of a mere, harmless sexual innuendo could be blamed on the toxins still flowing in his blood resulting in a bad trip, but seeing Alastor's shoulders start to shake and the maniacal look in his eyes was proof enough of what exactly just happened.

Angel was vaguely aware he might have looked like a brat throwing a tantrum when he abruptly shoved Alastor off him and banged his head against the hardwood counter in a silent scream. He turned his head towards Alastor without lifting it, looking on the verge of tears.

─ You motherfucker. You're a motherfucker! Why do you torture me like this?!

Alastor could only cackle at Angel's childish display, the spider pouting with puffy eyes and cheek squished against the counter. He approached Husk one last time to give his friend a pat on the back before walking away from the bar, the sound of his distorted chuckle fading into a curious hum as he noticed Charlie on the other side of the lobby, having a seemingly very friendly conversation with Sir Pentious. The Radio Demon was unaware of the disapproving headshake he got from the very exasperated Husk he left behind.

Angel straightened his posture, propping his chin on his hand as he observed Alastor approach their princess and her guest, Charlie smiling brightly as she greeted him. The familiar sound of glasses and bottles clinking against each other captured his attention and he turned fully to face Husk. The demon was filling them two glasses of whatever cheap whiskey survived their alcoholic rampage last night. The spider watched and thanked the other as one of the glasses was slid his way. He lifted the glass for a quick swig but when his lips touched the rim and the strong scent of booze hit his senses, his stomach threatening to flip, he decided that maybe it would be best to wait at least a couple of hours before ingesting anything, alcohol or not.

Even Husk was eyeing his own drink like it had sprouted limbs and a mouth. He looked lost in his thoughts. Angel tilted his head and waved a hand in front of the cat's pensive eyes. He didn't get much of a reaction so he slumped over the counter with another long sigh.

─ He kinda makes me feel like I was back up there. Desperately wanting what I could never have.

That seemed to get Husk's full attention, his ears twitching towards Angel to hear more.

─ But he didn't have to be such an asshole 'bout it! Why does he do this? He acts so prude and always pushes me away when I try to go down on him but when I'm minding my own business he comes after me and does this! ─ Angel touched his own waist, idly massaging a spot near where Alastor's hand rested just minutes before, that pinkish hue dusting his cheeks once more as he continued. ─ You know, I would be happy with whatever he decided to give me, but he makes a point to rub what he _doesn't_ want to give me in my face. It doesn't make any sense! Like, who does that? I know I'm kind of an asshole myself but I'm trying. It's really fucking frustrating.

Husk noted how Angel's voice seemed to lose its bite more and more as he went on. By the time he was done with his rant he just sounded and looked exhausted. Husk picked up a rag and started wiping a stain on the counter, suddenly feeling the urge to keep himself occupied. It was either that or emptying another bottle of the few he had left.

─ Alastor is here for a reason. He does that to people. His view of things isn't the same as yours, or anyone's. Nothing is ever just black or white with him. He knows that and isn't afraid to use it to mess with people. Most of the time he does it for his fucked up perception of 'entertainment', but I think sometimes he does it because antagonizing others helps him live with _himself_. ─ Husk looked past Angel to Charlie reprimanding a laughing Alastor as she tried to urge a terrified Sir Pentious out of his hiding spot under a table. He regarded the spider demon before him with a serious expression. ─ What he is willing to give you, how and when, will depend on many things. One of them is whether or not you are willing to walk down that gray path.

Angel traced the rim of his glass with a slim fingertip, contemplating over Husk's deep words. He hadn't expected him to become so serious over an awful, tasteless joke. Angel wasn't stupid. He was able to see a glimmer of the hidden meaning behind this whole situation. The cat went quiet, whispering curses every now and then at some suspicious stain they both knew wouldn't come off no matter how hard he scrubbed.

─ I wasn't born yesterday. Hearing what you said just now and the way you look at him everyday... I get it. I don't even have to know how far your relationship goes. What you guys have is... beautiful. Messed up, 'cause it's _him_ we're talkin' 'bout here, but still beautiful. Because you have an understanding heart, Husk. I... envy all of that.

Angel frowned and brought the glass to his lips, downing the burning liquid in one swift motion despite his stomach's protests. He wiped his mouth with the back of a bright pink glove and slammed the glass back down with more force than he intended. He was surprised, to say the least, when Husk's hand was gently placed over his own.

Husk would only say it out loud if he was sober enough to be out of his mind, but he couldn't deny the truth to himself. It was a fact. He adored Alastor. Maybe a wink and just a single drop of liquor would be enough for Husk to die for him. Angel was a bit, if not entirely, different. His attraction for their favorite murderous strawberry was nothing but lustful. At least at first it was. It was clear to the observant eye that it was slowly changing. Husk could see the adoration steadily replacing the hunger in the spider's eyes whenever Alastor was in their presence.

Husk knew those feelings, the way they crept in unannounced. Alastor had that effect on those who were brave enough to dare love him.

He could see a bit of the brave heart Angel was hiding behind all of his eccentricity and he couldn't bring himself to stop his own heart from wanting to cheer the spider on the only way he knew how.

─ Look kid. I ain't stupid either. I know what's going on in there better than you do. Alastor though... he's not as sharp as he thinks he is. He's so engrossed in that facade of his that he can't even distinguish his own feelings anymore. Some people are special enough to make him feel things he doesn't want to feel. He doesn't know how to deal with that. He wants to push them away, but ends up coming back every single time. He seeks something different in each one of them. He doesn't want from you what he wants from me. He doesn't want from her anything he wants from the two of us. ─ A pause to observe how the Radio Demon hesitated for a second as Charlie took both his hand and Sir Pentious', forcing them into an awkward handshake. Not a shift in Alastor's expression as she flashed him a triumphant smile. ─ Al has something in there that he desperately wants to kill but fails every time he pats Niffty's head when she hands him his washed coat. You are one of those people, Angel. You have something he needs, and you have it in you to not give up on him. It's going to be hard. For you, for all of us in our own way. But just know that, when things get really nasty for you, I'll be here. I... I've got you.

Angel was speechless. He had to pretend to scratch a little itch in the corner of his eye. Did he mean that? Where was Husk when he was still alive up in there?

─ If ya really mean all of that... Thanks. That means a lot. For real.

Husk choose not to respond this time. After such heartfelt word vomit, the best he could muster was a little crooked smile. They watched their Radio Demon for a while longer, not letting go of each other's hand and squeezing just a bit tighter.

But in the end, Alastor was still Alastor. Turns out he only shook poor Sir Pentious' hand so he could pull the good ol' shock buzzer trick on him, earning himself and very bold kick on the ankle from Charlie who turned on her heel and left, mumbling colorful insults towards her business partner while dragging a now crying serpent out of the room with her. Husk was still Husk. Alastor still deserved to have his head smashed with a bottle of cheap booze and with every day that passed Husk was closer to doing just that. Angel Dust was still Angel Dust. The seductive tone of voice Alastor used to tease him earlier returned to haunt his thoughts before long, causing him voice his raunchiest fantasies out loud, even grinding his hips against the bar stool. Maybe he would get his head smashed with a bottle first.

In the end, Husk, Angel and Alastor were all assholes. There was only so much melodrama they could handle.

The day went on rather peacefully, much to Husk's surprise. This year Alastor chose to antagonize him and Angel only with his disturbing sense of humor. Still mentally scarring, but nothing permanently damaging to either the cat or the spider. They knew what they signed up for, unfortunately.

Later in the afternoon, Husk crossed paths with Angel again. They stumbled upon each other in the hallway, both presumably on their way to their respective rooms. Husk noticed Angel seemed to be in great distress. Before he could ask what the problem was, Angel showed him his hiked up coat, the way he desperately clutched at something stuck on his lower back.

─ What am I gonna do?! I have a scene to shoot tonight and this shit won't come off! Just who the fuck... ─ Angel trailer off with a groan, fingers trying to lift an edge of the object glued to him. A piece of cardboard. He hissed in pain when the pull threatened to rip skin.

Upon closer inspection, Husk was able to see that this cardboard piece was in the shape of a fish, with a face and scales crudely drawn and colored with sharpie pens. There was some blood smeared around it on Angel's white fur, likely from his attempts to claw it off. Whatever substance was used to glue it in place had the cardboard fish flush with the spider's flesh. Looking at it filled him with a feeling he couldn't quite pinpoint. Like a mix of familiarity and unease. Suddenly his own back felt slightly warm and itchy. Perhaps from imagining the unsightly display that would be left behind when Angel would inevitably have to tear it off. Instinctively he reached a hand behind his back to scratch that one itchy spot.

He froze. What was his surprise when his fingers came in contact with something that definitely wasn't his fur. Husk twisted his body this way and that, attempting to grab a hold of it, but to no avail. Angel raised an eyebrow at this. This was exactly how he found out about his own predicament. He was quick to spin Husk around to take a look at his back and there it was. A colorful, happy cardboard fish firmly glued to fur that would eventually have to be ripped off, most likely along with some flesh.

At that same exact moment a chill was felt throughout the hallway, followed by the sound of footsteps. Angel and Husk turned their heads towards the newcomer and _there he was_.

Angel stared at Husk. Husk stared at Angel. They both stared at Alastor.

Alastor stared at them, lips pressed together, for once actually trying to contain his amusement.

The gears started spinning.

A _caress on the waist_ and a _pat on the back_.

Two out of three pairs of eyes widened. Who would have thought that an alcoholic cat and a drug addict spider could put two and two together so quickly.

Exactly 17 seconds of his darlings Husker and Angel Dust puffing up with white, hot, absolute rage were enough for Alastor. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

─ Poisson d'Avril, mes chéris!

And that was all the Radio Bitch had time to yell before sprinting down the hallway, two livid demons on his tail. He reached his room before long and locked himself up, barely able to escape Angel Dust as the spider banged his fists against the door right after he slammed it shut.

─ Get out, motherfucker! Ya gonna take this off me or I'mma shoot this fucking door down! Get out! ─ Angel kicked the door with all his might.

Maniacal laughter could be heard from inside the room.

Husk, not being as young and lively as Angel, tripped halfway through the chase and fell face first on the floor.

So what if he treasured that genuine, childish laugh?

It didn't matter. Alastor crossed the fucking line yet again. Then why was he holding back his own laugh?

This was hopeless. They were all fucking hopeless.

Husk was getting too old for this bullshit.

**_Fin._ **

**Author's Note:**

> So, how did ya like that?  
> I would like to thank [erenfuckinjaeger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenfuckinjaeger/pseuds/erenfuckinjaeger) for being patient and helping me with some wierd sentence structures I had going on, since english is not my first language.  
> Welp. That is all for now. Hope to write more for this fandom in the future. :)


End file.
